By Moonlight
by Syaoran no Miko
Summary: Sequel to Tamashii no Yakusoku. Yue and Touya have a night rendezvous
1. Default Chapter

I realised a big ol' gaping plothole in here. Touya should have been the one feeling groggy after the power transfer, and I forgot to insert the weird explanation I came up with for Yuki's unimproved health. 0_0 Apologies. I've fixed the plot and made other changes as required. Please bear in mind that this story (and TnY/R) does not adhere to the manga/anime, although there *is* reference to events that happened somewhere around tankoubon 9 and 10. Alternate timeline, yesh? Sakura's in the dark about the power transfer, Eriol's nowhere in sight, and those might be loopholes but I started out with a Touya-Yuki/Yue story and I *intend* to end with a Touya-Yuki/Yue story. -_-;; Yurushite. 

And this is _still_ Thea's fault. *niko*

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By Moonlight I: Facing 

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It was 3 in the morning, and he couldn't sleep. He turned onto his left side, then onto his right, and flopped over on his stomach, but he still couldn't sleep.

He didn't know why. It just didn't make sense--why couldn't he get to sleep if he was tired? Sakura had been horrified when a classmate had towed him home only half-conscious earlier that day. He was still feeling a little light-headed from the power transfer; there was an odd sensation of loss that clung to his senses and seemed to drag him down. 

Sighing, he threw a hand across his eyes, and yawned. And blinked in annoyance. Shades of his childhood--when Okaa-san had died, he had been insomniac for over a month. Back then, Tou-san had told him it was because there was too much on his mind, and advised him not to think about anything except blankness, or anything that was calming.

Back then, it had worked. Now, it didn't. No matter how hard he tried to empty his mind, it would always return to the same thing. Feathers. Long wings, snowy arches sweeping above a head of similarly tinted hair that fell to the floor. Icy slit-pupiled amethyst globes, hard and bright and penetrating. 

Too perfect, too beautiful to be human. So unlike, and yet so like Yuki. A part of the other boy, and yet wholly separate. There were paradoxes enough to drive anyone crazy, and yet neither of the two concerned seemed all that bothered about it. Of course, Yuki wasn't even aware of the whole mess right now, and Yue's problem had already been taken care of, for the moment at any rate.

But

But. 

He closed his eyes, and remembered sensation washed over him. Yue taking his power, lips pressed against his collarbone. They had been soft. Warm. It was something he hadn't been expecting. He stroked the base of his neck almost hesitantly, and wondered. It had beenstrange, looking into cold amethyst so radically different from the warm hazel he knew so well, and yet seeing traces of what the second contained in the first. He had woken up beside an unconscious Yuki on the floor of the room, and it had been even stranger that something deep inside him had cried out, protesting the loss of something it had just found. Except that he had no idea what that something was.

Strange, and more than a little unsettling. He knew what he felt for Yuki. Yue shouldn't have been any concern of his other than the fact that he *was* part of Yuki and vice versa.

So?

If he loved Yuki, did that mean he also loved Yue?

But they were *different*. Regardless of the fact that they shared the same body, they were still two souls apart, with their own hearts and minds. That much he was sure of.

And he couldn't be in love with two people

There was a knocking at his window. Startled, he sat up and glanced in its direction. Moonlight shone on silver-grey hair and reflected off the large glasses of the boy perched on the tree branch just outside.

He got up and opened the window, eyeing Yukito in bemusement. "What are you doing here?"

"Don't welcome me?" his friend sighed in feigned hurt. "I'll just have to go home, then."

He glared at him. "Oi. You *should* be home resting. What if you'd conked out when you were climbing the tree? Don't make me worry, all right?"

Smiling, Yukito climbed into the room. "I'll try not to."

He shut the window. "At any rate, would you mind telling me why you're here in the middle of the--" A blinding flash of light behind him cut him off, and he jumped. 

There was a soft, rustling sound that was oddly familiar. Likefeathers. 

Like wings, unfolding in all their pristine glory. His throat suddenly dry, he slowly turned around.

"Night?" Yue quietly finished, eyes glowing a soft lavender in the pale light. He folded his wings into non-existence and drifted over until he was directly in front of him.

He couldn't say anything.

Yue gazed intently at him. "I'm sorry for the disturbance. But Yukito wanted to see you."

He was still unable to speak, to do anything except stare at the palely ethereal creature facing him.

"As did I."

He blinked, speech suddenly returning to him. "Why?"

The other sighed. "I thought you should knoweven though you've given me your power, Yukito won't be feeling any better just yet."

One dark brow furrowed slightly. "How come? I thought you two were directly linked to each other."

"He's being badly affected by the breaking of the seals I set on his memory. Call it backlash, if you will. His soul is lost in a maze, and in one sense his body is separated from me so that my energy is unable to restore his health."

"_What_?" 

"More seriously is that his mind is holding him back from physical recovery. His subconscious is being deeply disturbed by what it sees as the seals crack, but I can't place new seals on him - his reiki is fighting the present ones so strongly it would only cause him further harm." Yue shut his eyes. Almost mechanically, he brought his arms up and wrapped them around himself, lowering his head. Right then, Touya thought, he appeared strangely vulnerable, with no hostile defences, no coldness that walled off emotions. 

Fragile, like a beam of frozen moonlight that might shatter with one fall. 

Purple eyes opened, but they avoided meeting his gaze. "I don't really comprehend what he's thinking right now, because he's not even sure himself about what he's feeling. All I can make out is--he wants you. But he doesn't realise it." Yue looked at him sombrely. "I think I should say that he *needs* you. He's going to break soon. And he won't be able to heal himself this time, not without your help."

His head was spinning. "I don't get you," he said slowly. "All this talk about Yuki's memories and seals breakingwhat do you mean?" 

Yue moved a few steps closer, reaching up to take his face in his hands. "Understand now."

~~~~

The plane exploded. There was fire everywhere. I hurt. Is Meiko-obasan all right? 

I'm scared. 

Going tocan't hang oncan't make it 

NO! I promised I wouldn'tgive up 

Won'tso tired 

Can't feelnot outside or inside 

White. 

Ihaven't died? 

Wings. Beautiful. Not human. Frozen eyes. 

Dare? 

It saved mebut only temporarily? 

It doesn't matter. I'll keep my own promises. 

If we become one, I'll be saved. 

I don't want to forget, but I have no choice. 

Arigatou, Yue-san. 

~~~~

Yue had taken his hands away. He opened his eyes - he hadn't realised they had been closed. Jumbled images and words, of an orphaned child struggling to live on the strength of a promise to his mother. Sacrificing his identity for life, memories wiped off like a clean slate. 

Yuki? 

"He made a very big impression on me," Yue said softly. "A mere child, and yet so determined, so strong. That was why I saved him. But now I wonder if it was cruel to have forced him into the kind of existence he has now."

He shook his head, his daze clearing. "No."

Hard amethyst eyes pinned his gaze. "Why?"

"He got to live. He got to keep his promise. I'd say that was the most important thing to him at that time. And you gave that chance to him."

"That doesn't stand for anything. He would have been better off dying with his identity intact. How much pain has he gone through just by being unable to remember his true self? And knowing the truth now will hurt him even more...*has* already hurt him both mentally and physically."

He looked at Yue thoughtfully. "I'd say a person's true identity is only defined by their heart. You erased his memories, but you didn't change who he was inside, did you?" Taking Yue's face into his own hands, he continued, "I'm selfish, but I couldn't be more thankful that you saved Yuki. If you hadn't, I wouldn't have met him. I don't even want to think about that." 

"But"

"You _weren't wrong_," he said firmly. 

They stood like that for a while, bright amethyst locked onto midnight blue. And he realised, with a jolt of surprise, that it felt perfectly natural. 

Almost as if it was

Yue sighed, turning his face into his left palm. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He smiled, and very hesitantly, Yue smiled back, though it was nothing more than a slight upward turn of the corners of his mouth.

"You're so different from him," Yue quietly remarked. "Yet in certain ways the resemblance is uncanny. It'sstrange."

"Same and different from who?"

Yue half-smiled. "Someone I knew in the past."

He started to chuckle. "You know, I was thinking exactly the same thing about you and Yuki just before he showed up."

"Perhaps." He reached up and gently removed his hands. "I'm going to revert now."

"So soon?" he asked, feeling a curious sense of regret.

Before he could react, Yue had leaned forward until soft, warm lips grazed his own. In such close proximity, he could smell the other's scent, a light fragrance that somehow reminded him of spilled moonlight and vanilla snow.

"I'll be back." Cool air brushed his ear in a husky whisper; there was another flash of light and he was left supporting an extremely groggy Yukito.

"Whathappened? Did I fall asleep again?"

He hesitated. "Yes."

"I'm sorry for disturbing you, but I just wanted to see you for a whileI'm not even sure why."

"I know," he said gently. "It's all right, Yuki. You can stay for the night."

A weak smile. "To-yaarigatou ne."

"Don't mention it," he murmured as he covered up the precious intruder on his bed. "It'll always be all right."

But as he lay on the floor and prepared to try and catch some sleep, it suddenly hit him that Yue had never said why _he_ had wanted to see him.

He couldn't be in love with two people.

Could he?

~*~ tbc ~*~

I'd *still* like C&C, just in case anyone was wondering*meaningful look*

--Shi Lin


	2. 2

This is a bit draggy, so please bear with me. ^^; It was necessary to think this up in order for the whole timeline to flow smoothly, and besides, I had so much fun writing it. ^_^;

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By Moonlight II: Apart

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The words were blurred. Paragraph after paragraph merged into moving dots of printed ink, tiny too-black ants running across a huge too-white page. He blinked, and the pen promptly dropped out from his numbed fingers. 

Yukito took that as a sign not to continue studying. 

Shutting the textbook, he took off his glasses and slowly rubbed his eyes. He didn't know why he was always so tired these days. It had got to the point where it was possible for him to drop off even when he was walking, or doing anything else. It scared him. A lot. It was so bad that To-ya insisted on seeing him home every day to make sure he didn't black out while crossing the roads.

He'd been having the strangest dreams, recently. Something about a plane crash, a little boy who had been badly hurt. He had no idea whom that boy was--every time he woke up just before seeing his face. Everything was clouded, as if he saw it through a thick fog. Yet every time he dreamed it seemed to get a little clearer.

And in those dreams a figure was always present, someone with huge white wings and long, long hair, whose back was always to him. He didn't know why it seemed so familiar. Had he seen it somewhere before? In a painting perhaps, or a book, or

His head hurt. Maybe he was going too deep into this; lack of sleep and an overactive mind could produce strange results. Did it really matter? 

He knew he wouldn't have been able to manage of late if To-ya hadn't been there. But he hated to be a burden to him, though he was aware his best friend had never viewed him as one. He dropped his face into his hands, wearily closing his eyes. He had no idea what had happened last Monday night when he had gone to see To-ya, except that he had conked out as soon as he entered the room and To-ya had had to let him have his bed for the rest of the night. He didn't even know *why* he had gone to see him. He'd justwanted to.

Wanted to.

He looked out at the crimson-streaked evening sky, and thought that he wanted to see To-ya again.

Maybe he was going mad.

~~~~

Tap, tap, tap. Once, twice, three times. Dark blue eyes blinked. 

He walked over and opened the glass pane, raising a brow at the slim figure outside. "You *could* inform me of these midnight calls beforehand," he said dryly. "Save me the worry. I do not want to know what Tou-san and Sakura would think if they happened to be awake and saw you climbing the tree. Or falling out of it."

Yukito smiled wanly. "I really am sorry. I just - wanted"

"Yuki." He briefly touched his friend's hand, noting with an inward frown how strangely transparent it was in the moonlight. "It doesn't matter. Get in before you catch a chill."

"Thank you." The silver-haired boy stepped through the window somewhat unsteadily, and he hastily reached out a hand to him as he slid the glass back into place. 

Yuki looked so *tired*. That was the most noticeable thing. The frown slipped onto his lips as he ran a searching gaze over him, seeing faint shadows under dull hazel eyes and the unnatural pallor of his skin. "I think you've lost weight," he commented.

A feeble attempt at a laugh. "You're imagining things, To-ya."

"You look like hell," bluntly. "What have you been doing?"

"Nothingmaybe that's the problem."

"You ought to be home sleeping," he accused, "not gate-crashing my room at this unholy hour." Those gold-hazel eyes were issuing a silent plea, begging him to do something, but what? His head was beginning to throb from the whole situation. With a sigh, he turned to take out an extra blanket from the cupboard. "Since you're hereyou might as well spend the night again."

Light exploded behind him. "Thank you," a soft, husky voice replied. He yelped and whirled around. 

Yuki's alter ego shook out his hair, folded his wings, and blinked at his disgruntled expression.

"Don't *do* that," Touya said grumpily.

"Don't do what?"

"Transform when my back's turned. It's freaky."

Yue considered this. "All right."

His mouth twitched. "Do you often do this to Yuki? I mean, change forms on your own whim?"

A slight frown. "Not unless it's imperative."

Touya quirked a brow. "So right now it's imperative?"

"Yukito is his own person. I only share his body."

"That wasn't what I asked," he said quietly. 

Yue didn't answer immediately. Luminous violet orbs met his gaze, holding an expression uncannily similar to the one in Yukito's eyes earlier. Anguish, and a wordless cry for help. "I try to exert my control over Yukito only when I have to. In any case I wasn't able to transform until Sakura was ready for the Judgement. But you" he broke off, falling silent.

"I what?" Touya gently prompted.

A shake of the snowy head. "You and my mistress are the only people in Yukito's life who confuse me. It's got to the point where I can't separate my feelings about you from Yukito's."

He reached out to catch hold of a pale hand, drawing it to his chest and placing it directly on his heart. "Then what do both of you feel?"

Violet eyes reflected fear. "I don't know."

Touya eyed him reflectively for a moment, then pulled him into a soft hug. "Oi. Relax. There's nothing to be scared of." But the body in his arms was stiff and tense, and he rubbed a soothing hand down the white-clad back. "You don't have to be afraid of anything with me."

"Do you mean that?" A wondering murmur.

"Of course."

Yue shook his head again. "Sometimes I have to remind myself that you're not him."

He blinked. "Who?"

"Clow." A pause. "My previous master and creator."

"He made you?" Yue nodded. "Then I need to thank him." A wink, mouth quirking into a lopsided smile.

Yue smiled too, but his eyes were suddenly clouded. "That's only because of Yukito, isn't it?"

"Why would you think that?"

A half-smile. "You love him. Anyone with eyes can see it."

"Then what makes you think I don't care about you?"

Yue stiffened abruptly. "Why would you?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Raised brow, questioning.

"Because you've got no reason to."

"But I do," he said, tightening his hold on the slender frame. "I like you because you're you. Isn't that reason enough?"

Amethyst eyes widened, the look in them warring between bewilderment and suspicion. Fear. "But - why do you like me?"

Exasperation. "You don't need reasons to like anybody." Then as Yue still stared at him blankly, he sighed and added, "But if you insist, you're a very kind and sensitive person, and you care about Yuki even though his life is practically in your hands. Happy?"

Silence. "Are you making fun of me?"

"No," Touya deadpanned. "You don't get it, do you."

"I don't," Yue admitted. "But I do know the only reason you like me is because I saved Yukito, isn't it?"

"Yue." He rolled the name on his tongue, tasting its light crispness. "It's true one reason I like you is because you let Yuki live, but I meant what I said just now. I like you for yourself. Can't you believe that?"

Silence. Pale lids shuttered amethyst eyes, then rose again. "I don't know if I can, butthank you."

"Welcome." He stroked Yue's back again, felt him relax with satisfaction. The white head came to rest on his shoulder, and he moved up to run his hand through impossibly fine strands of silver-pearl, feeling them slide silkily through his fingers.

A soft sigh. "Clow used to do this."

"He meant a lot to you, didn't he." Not questioning, just stating. 

"I loved him," Yue said simply. "He meant everything to me. That is, until he left me."

Dark blue eyes narrowed, but Touya kept silent, continuing to stroke the softly glowing hair. Yue sighed again, talking almost to himself. "I hated him then for leaving like that, for forcing me to choose a new master when I didn't want anyone except himbut I don't think I'm angry anymore. Maybe he was right, after all. If he hadn't done what he had, I wouldn't have met Yukito or my mistress -" he paused, looking up almost shyly " -and you."

He grinned. "I'm flattered."

Without warning, the Judgement Maker suddenly pressed closely against him, twining long arms around his waist. He started in surprise. "Yue?"

"Will you love me?" It was hardly above a whisper.

Touya blinked. That couldn't have meant "I do love you," he carefully replied, his voice neutral.

Slim, pale hands reached up to pull his head down. And then Yue was kissing him for the second time, long and full and sweet. So sweet. On finally pulling away for breath, his eyes were dark lavender and full of promise. "Will you love me?" he repeated again, and this time his meaning was unmistakable.

Touya looked at him incredulously. "Isn't this a littlesudden?" _Not that you mind,_ a small voice in his head snidely remarked, but he ignored it. Yue didn't know what he was asking for. And as much as he wanted what he was being offered, he would never take advantage of Yuki's other self, this ethereal creature in front of him who radiated innocence in his moonlit beauty.

He shook his head, putting a slight distance between himself and the white-clad figure. "I can't give you that," he said gently. "It wouldn't be right."

"Why not?" Hurt; anger and slight betrayal.

"Is that what you *really* want?" He tenderly cupped the elfin face in one hand, gazing straight into bright amethyst eyes. "You said yourself you don't know what you feel for me. I can't and won't be a substitute for your master because I care too much about you to do that."

For a few moments Yue stared at him, then exhaled resignedly, shoulders slumping. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He smiled. "Want to share my bed tonight? Only the bed."

And suddenly both of them were laughing.

~~~~

An hour later, Tsukishiro Yukito awoke to find himself lying on Touya's bed, his best friend peacefully slumbering next to him. How strange, a tiny part of him mused, but he hardly noticed that. His whole soul was crying out in protest at the knowledge revealed to him through the dream-mist that had lifted so short a while ago. 

The last of Yue's seals had been broken.

With the blackness tearing at his heart, he silently got out of bed without disturbing Touya and opened the window. He shinnied down the tree easily, landing on the ground with hardly any noise.

Then he ran, not looking back.

~*~ owari ~*~

Notes: 

  1. Before anyone starts screaming, remember it's a *timeline*. Resolution I follows immediately after this, so it all links up and makes sense, trust me. ^^ If you were looking for more, uh, physical intimacy *coughs* do watch for Resolution because that's Where It's At. XD O-tanoshimi ni~! 
  2. C&C, as always, is bewy bewy much appreciated. 


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